Get out of that "darkness"! - For heart broken singles and married folk

You know, I don't know if men go through the same things as ladies, but ladies get so down when matters of the heart prove unsuccessful.

So he hurt you so much. He betrayed your trust and left you high and dry. Or he just ignores you and treats you less than his computer....and even his blackberry is more valuable to him than you are... You just want to switch off the lights, lock your doors and stay in one little corner of the room and sulk and weep and...just die. Food is tasteless, you hate going out, you refuse to pick up the phone, you just walk around your house and work like a zombie...wishing you did not exist and wondering what you did to deserve this pain...

Ok...STOP RIGHT THERE!


This is dedicated to you. Are you ready to stop feeling the "pain"? Let us go step by step in getting out of that "darkness".

1) Cry it out. Yes yes, cry it out. You are allowed to. Cry till your eyes hurt and all you can do is sleep

2) When you wake up, go for a walk in a nice park...if you can. For people who don't have parks around or somewhere safe to walk...just do some form of exercise. Jog around or skip rope or do stomach crunches...something active

3) If you are married or have a partner, stop expecting him or her to do this or that or love you more. Love yourself more. Start finding yourself again. Start doing something for YOURSELF and not him/her. Seriously, stop waiting to be included in their programs. Find YOUR program and stick to it and when he/she finally asks you to go somewhere, you say "I am busy"...that's right.
 
4) This is a continuation of number 3 and applys to single and married. If you don't know what to do to occupy your time, find a goal or project you have always considered doing but just never got around to it. Dedicate that time you used on him/her and the time used feeling down and out...to that new project. Write it down and the steps to take to reach that goal. Work on it...hard... Any project will do..from determining to drink one gallon of water per day or working on improving your skin or hair texture to loosing those 20 extra pounds or starting your own company! Get loads of information from the internet about that project. Set small goals and achieve them and watch yourself feel better!

5) Start working on getting physically fit and eating well. I put taking a walk right after crying because being active has a positive effect on a person's mood. When you begin to make this a lifestyle, you not only feel better on the "outside" but on the inside.

6) There is no need sharing your emotional woes with every person you meet. This is especially true for married folk. Like they say...20% of them don't care and the other 80% are glad you have those problems...(That is overexaggerated though...)...but my point is you have to find a way to hold your tongue when you meet people. People may think all there is to you is just emotional drama...but there is much more to you than that!

7) Continuation of  6: You do need to talk, but talk to a close knit of friends and family you trust who can give you good advice on how to deal with things. Most of the times, though, family can be biased, so seek someone unbiased to help shed light on areas you need more knowledge. If you don't have any friends because you have a rotten character, work on being a better human being as your little project.
Turn to God and ask earnestly, from your heart, to help. Talk to him like you would talk to any other person. Whether you are muslim, christian, buddhist, or even athiest, talk to that unseen spiritual positive force and confide in it.

8) If you are in an abusive relationship where you (and maybe your kids) are beaten all the time...run run run run run! Please do not hesitate to share this particular problem so you can find someone to help you.

By the time, you find a project to do, you will be so busy researching the internet and watching videos on youtube that you will forget some sucker "dumped" you. He would finally be the "best thing you never had"  and you would have found the "good in goodbye" (according to Beyonce ;)

There is more to life. Living is hard, I know, but it is so short that it will soon be over before you know it. So why go kill yourself or others when death will come anyway? Take the challenge of living each day as best as you can....focus on the joys more than the sorrows. Let's do this. Let's feel better, people.
Better-feeling people make better-feeling nations. Get out of that darkness.